72. "The next time your father drifts back several decades and tells you stories you've heard before,...

... rather than shaking your head in resignation or despair, encourage him to tell more. He's doing something that's enormously healng. Reminiscing allows him to review his life, think through important issues, see his accomplishments, let go of his regrets. It also returns him, temporarily, to a time when he was younger, stronger, more confident, and more capable."

From "How To Care for Aging Parents" by Virginia Morris, Workman Publishing, New York

71. "Include your parent, whenever possible, in family activities."

"Include your parent, whenever possible, in family activities. Even if she can't actually participate, she should be there. Or, if she can't be there, let her know that she is wanted, and then take a video of the event for her to watch later. And be sure she has plenty of family photos around her, wherever she lives."

From "How to Care for Aging Parents" by Virginia Morris, Workman Publishing, New York

70. "Any sort of contact is better than none."

"Sit with your parent. Talk about old times. Tell her what's happening in your life. If you are far away, or nearby but busy (or close and not busy, but don't like spending time with your parent), call or e-mail as often as you can. Any sort of contact is better than non. Tell her what's happening with various family members and old friends--Michael just got his braces off, Tammy has a new boyfriend, Brian is applying for a new job, old Ted Wollman finally sold his apartment. Give her all the details, however mundane they might seem."

From "How to Care for Aging Parents" by Virginia Morris, Workman Publishing, New York

69. "Now we're writing again, and that's great."

"Not so many years ago, e-mail was brand new. When it first came out, many teachers and writers were concerned that the informal way people write e-mails would have a bad effect on people's writing in general. However, before e-mail, people rarely wrote letters and almost always used the phone to communicate with each other. Now we're writing again, and that's great."

From "Painless Grammar" by Rebecca Elliott, Ph.D., Barron's Educational Series, Inc.

68. "What is the difference between the way students write and the way professionas write?"

"What is the difference between the way students write and the way professionas write?

Easy question--here is the difference:

Average student: write it, hand it in

Above-average student: write it, edit it, rewrite it, hand it in

Exceptional student: write it, edit it, rewrite it, edit it, rewrite it, hand it in

Professional writer: write it, edit it, rewrite it, edit it, rewrite it, edit it, rewrite it, edit it, rewrite it, edit it, rewrite it, hand it in

Good writing is 20 percent inspiration and 80 percent cleanup."


From "Painless Grammar" by Rebecca Elliott, Ph.D., published by Barron's Educational Series, Inc.

67. "Even worse than lots of exclamation points are double exclamation points!!"

"Some people use exclamation points all the time! Every single sentence is so excited it jumps for joy! Nothing looks sillier than a paragraph like this! Even worse than lots of exclamation points are--oh, no, not those!!--double exclamation points!! In formal writing, never (and I do mean never!!) use double exclamation points! In fact, don't use many exclamation points at all. Not every sentence you write is exciting enough to deserve an exclamation point, and too many make your reader tired."

From "Painless Grammar" by Rebecca Elliott, Ph.D., published by Barron's Educational Series, Inc.

66. "Many people caring for an aged parent wish that their parent would die."

Many people caring for an aged parent wish, at some point along the way, that their parent would die. It may be a fleeting thought or a constant presence. Either way, it can be very disturbing.

If you are hoping that your father will die soon because he is terminally ill and his existence is pretty miserable, then you shouldn't have any guilt about such thoughts. They are normal and, in most cases, merciful.

The trouble comes when you are wishing that your parent would die because he is overbearing, because he is a burden, because you want an inheritance, or because you are simply tired of waiting and wondering. In other words, you want him to die not for his sake, but for yours. This is a common and natural reaction, but it is jolting when the thought first comes into your mind, and it can produce a great deal of guilt and shame.

Caring for a frail parent, even if you are not providing hands-on care, is draining on many levels. Since there is really no other possible outcome, it is natural to want the struggle to end, for everybody's sake. You are not a bad person for feeling this way. You are only human."

From "How to Care for Aging Parents" written by Virginia Morris and published by Workman Publishing Company, Inc.