66. "Many people caring for an aged parent wish that their parent would die."

Many people caring for an aged parent wish, at some point along the way, that their parent would die. It may be a fleeting thought or a constant presence. Either way, it can be very disturbing.

If you are hoping that your father will die soon because he is terminally ill and his existence is pretty miserable, then you shouldn't have any guilt about such thoughts. They are normal and, in most cases, merciful.

The trouble comes when you are wishing that your parent would die because he is overbearing, because he is a burden, because you want an inheritance, or because you are simply tired of waiting and wondering. In other words, you want him to die not for his sake, but for yours. This is a common and natural reaction, but it is jolting when the thought first comes into your mind, and it can produce a great deal of guilt and shame.

Caring for a frail parent, even if you are not providing hands-on care, is draining on many levels. Since there is really no other possible outcome, it is natural to want the struggle to end, for everybody's sake. You are not a bad person for feeling this way. You are only human."

From "How to Care for Aging Parents" written by Virginia Morris and published by Workman Publishing Company, Inc.