93. "When a parent tells a child or adolescent a secret about the marriage, that's colluding."

"Parents' sex lives, financial worries, the secrets they tell each other when they're depressed, are not the children's business. When a parent tells a child or adolescent a secret about the marriage, that's colluding. It may make the child feel special, more grown-up, but it's actually using the child for some selfish purpose--to gain an ally, to gain sympathy, to fight loneliness--which is ultimately damaging to the child's self-esteem."

From "Undoing Depression" by Richard O'Connor, Ph.D., Berkley Books, New York.