77. "Expecting the spouse to read one's mind is just unfair and silly."

"It seems natural to expect that those close to us understand us perfectly. But it is a wish that grown-ups must abondon. One of the points that marriage counselors have to make is that expecting the spouse to read one's mind is just unfair and silly. If you don't communicate it, you can't blame your partner for not understanding it.

Many of the techniques described earlier as assertiveness skills will help prevent ambiguous communication...

... unambiguous communication can become almost second nature as we practice and it becomes rewarded by greater levels of intimacy and satisfaction in relationships."

From "Undoing Depression" by Richard O'Connor, Ph.D., Berkley Books, New York